Gradually Towards The Goal

M.M. [  The Founder of Mai-ism , i.e. Saint  Shri Mai Swarup Mai Markand ]  was temporarily for a few months appointed to be a famine supervisor in Baroda state in Kathiawar ( in the year 1913 ). He was in charge of a famine work with about five to ten thousand persons working under him. One day morning a big crowd of a neighboring village  of about 50 persons came to him for enlistment. 

The crowd had remained hungry for three meals. M.M. immediately  gave a 10 Rs. note ( which was surely a good amount considering the age ). Three Annas per day was then sufficient to give a fair meal per day. M.M. had only the previous day orders  from his boss not to be lavish in the matter of new enlistment. M.M. said he can help them privately with one meal but he was sorry he had orders  and he could not enlist them as coolies on the work.

On receiving a definite refusal, one old man and woman, who looked to be the leaders of the crowd ( and it appears as  if all of them had come  because of their assurance  of enlistment ) came into the house itself, with a young unmarried 18 years extremely beautiful daughter of theirs. Said they,” We have not approached you as one of so many famine supervising officers. Here is my daughter who would tell you what dreams she had and how Kali, her worshipped Mataji gave Her command  to come to you Her devotee.” To M.M.’s great surprise, the parents left the place  leaving her alone saying, ” We shall just arrange for some meals with the money which Saheb has so kindly given”.

M.M. was nonplussed, M.M. anticipated some novelistic happening. M.M. could see that the parents and their companions had with purpose left alone. She was the daughter of a bard, a community in Gujarat known for its literary fluency, devotion to Goddess.

She unloosened her hair, came nearer M.M. and set as if determined to carry out her will at any cost, by arguments, influence, temptation, god-fear, beauty realisation, youth, enjoyment promise. She sat determined to have her point agreed to, viz., of enlistment of about fifty people of hers to work.

M.M. could read in her eyes. She was not an ordinary woman. She appeared to have  some strong supernatural powers and perhaps black-magic. Unloosening the hair has a thrilling meaning in this field.

She began,” Are you determined we should all die ? “ ” No, no at all, but I have orders not to enlist as before.” ” Whose orders ? Are the orders of your boss greater importance  or that of Mataji ? ” M.M. pretended,” I do not believe in any such Mataji Balaji “. “Are you speaking from the heart ? “ ” Yes “.  “No, you want to show me my mettle before you enlist us “. She usurped a nearer position. ” Do you bet in that you will not enlist us ? “

M.M. was surprised ” Yes I bet whatever you say I have positive orders. “ ” Orders for not enlisting as before and not for enlisting none  you enlist us as the  last batch. ” Don’t be so unguarded and say you bet whatever I say. Don’t consider me to be an ordinary village girl. I am more than a match. I belong to charan  and I am again a pet devotee of Kaali. Don’t forget that. ” ” I know many things not known in your colleges or sciences here or in Vilayat (west). Money is nothing to us like you citizen slaves of enjoyments, except as means of bare living as we believe in simple living and devotional straight living. Life is nothing to us, as to you, as we have full faith in Goddess and rebirths. “

M.M. stood dumbfounded. He had never expected this sort of reparation . He kept silence. She immediately turned coquettish and said,” Suppose you bet whatever I ask  and I ask for your youth, would you make me happy by making me a partner of your bed ?

M.M.’s colour changed. ” Never dream such a thing. Do you know ? I am a straight man ? and a devotee ? “ She laughed outright, ” Now there you are in your natural form. All artificiality washed out.”

She closed her eyes. Gave further strokes to her forehead., ” Would like me to tell you who you are if you are not prepared to tell me .” M.M. saw she was prepared in many arts. She said “ Do you remember that black woman who saved you from robbers ? Had you been to Bahucharaji in year….. and you were favoured with a dream of acceptance by Mataji ?”

M.M. was thunderstruck. No palmist or astrologer however wonderful fortune-teller could have told him thus. He was hundreds of miles away. He was actually petrified. So to say he was benumbed.She had the boldness of a queen who had every right to act any way she liked with her enraged husband or unwilling beloved. She got up from the ground where she was seated and immediately with a jump and alertness sat on M.M.’s Lap. M.M. was wrathful. ” What are you doing ? ” ” Have you any sense ? Do you know what your seating like this mean ? “

She was chuckling much with success and smiling. ” I know everything. You are acting as per your boss orders. I am acting as per my Mataji’s orders, of which don’t forget  you are also a devotee.” ” Get up Get up. Don’t be mad, you have no idea or you a bad tempting woman “.

She immediately got up and said,” Orders to me from my Mataji is to be yours, whatever you desire me to be  of yours, wife beloved mistress sister daughter disciple or Guru, whatever you desire me to be of yours, but yours.”

She was bold like a tigress. She herself gave orders to some men standing out side. “ You all go to the work. Tell the Mistry in-chargeyou have been sent for enlistment by Saheb. Put in the muster all the names, all the fifty sixty that we are. The crowed immediately began to walk off towards the site of work without waiting for written order or anything, as it were M.M. who had asked them to go with a regular permission and sanction for enlistment.

M.M. was stunned.  He could not imagine  how a woman  a girl of 18 to 20 can be so bold. She was determined, she predicted. She betted, she jumped into his lap and in a way she was usurping his rights, she was acting as if she were even his master., though respectfully lovingly and obediently. M.M. clearly said there was Mother’s hand in all this. How can she dare like this ? and how can she predict ? How was she as it were threatening him with a wrath of Mother if he did not enlist them ?

And everything took place so suddenly there was no time to think how to act, how to drive away the girl supposing M.M. was determined how to say it out he had not ordered enlistment. It was the mischief of the girl herself. She was surely a super-woman and coming from the community known for coercion cursing.

Said he to himself,” Leave all matters to Mother. Let her do as she likes.”

In the evening when he went to work, the Mistry saluted him and showed him muster in which the new batch (gang) was enlisted, Mistry asked,” Sir, full wages today or half day wages ?”

M.M. was put out inwardly but to say anything was to exposing his own weakness or foolish devotion. ” Surely half day’s wages.”

The enlistment was made. Sheets for temporary huts were given to them by the store keeper, evening wages were given, every thing was rush up and arranged. The girl did not leave the Bungalow even while M.M. went to the site. 

It was revealed to M.M. that one of the gangs was the story teller and that would give that story hearing at his bungalow.

It was surprise to see that girl was there and there alone.

” Have you not gone to the work ?Said she,” My work is here only, not that of filing each basket etc. You have worshipped Mother so much, you might have been tired., you take rest now. I will worship Mother for you Your patha of Sapta Shati  I will read to Mother for you. My reading for you is as good as your own reading to Mother. “

M.M. saw it appeared as if she was determined not only to leave the Bungalow but to live on intimate terms with him., of whatever type he himself liked, whether he willed it or not. M.M. was by nature softer than wax. He can’t refuse things  as easily as a man refuses his towel being used by another with a frown. He was a man simply to laugh and enjoy Mother’s ways and Mother’s sportiveness. Said he to the cook in private, ” It seems this woman would take her meals to night “. ” Prepare for her.”

M.M. with affected sternness asked her, ” Will you tell me once for all what you want of me ? You have got your enlistment. ” Said she smilingly,” Yes many thanks for enlistment but what about your giving me  whatever I wanted  if the enlistment was fully effected?” “Let all past go. I don’t want to hear you. You just tell me what you want ? “ She said,”  I will tell you after sometime.” She went into the room where there was  worship room. Did some meditation which gave a glowing luster  to her face and she asked the servant to call the Saheb. When M.M. went there he saw her with a divine lustre which he never seen in the face  of any woman till then. She said,” Did you sometime back desire and wish to perform worshipping a living woman as Mataji ? Devi has expected me  to be that woman, if you approve.

She talked with an authority which know no thrilling as it were. M.M. stood stunned.” Do you understand  what I meant by saying I am prepared to serve you in any capacity. Shishya in one sense, Guru in another, beloved in one sense and Mother in the other. What do you say and think about ?”

M.M. was not only immersed in wonder in action and fix, but could not see how all events had tuned. In a way he opened his heart and talked to her as if taking her into confidence and asking her to discuss and advice. Said he, ” Let us thrash out the subject which you have so abruptly thrust on me and so unaware “. I am yet in the formation. I am not yet fully convinced there are deities like Mataji, etc. I believe in the highest energy call it God or Goddess which does all things as He or She desires. Your predictaments are wonderful. Your authority and authoritative tone is really most surprising as it does from an ordinary village girl. The most usual predictament viz., that I often prayed to Goddess that I had only one practice  not done is correct. I had also fancied  I must have a very strong practice  of withstanding a woman’s charm coquetry temptation and even lustful invitation or invasion.

That I am devotee of Goddess, you are saying correct. That I had the experience of black woman who saved me from robbers and that I had consoling and convincing dream at Bahucharaji, you are saying correct. Only one thing I don’t understand  is how you a distant village girl should know my happenings  and why should Goddess talk to you about it and whether I am right in thinking  worship of a living woman as Mother is the proper way. Whether I would slip down to be an immoral man once I slip in that slippery plane . All the circumstantial and  circumferential things being correct the missing link may be a creation of your own.

How am I to believe that Mother has deputed you for this purpose ? You may be a devotee, but how to believe in the deputation of yours by Mother ?

She stood silent for some purpose and started. If you were of the old school, you would have been satisfied by my inviting Goddess to enter me and I would give you red vermilion and would have done  so many things. But you are a man who would not have an intellectual satisfaction, although you could not explain the incoming of so many things  as Kunku or Chundadi i.e. red vermillion or virkum garment etc. I can therefor count upon only one thing, viz., predictament. Then be prepared to hear me , let me concentrate for fifteen minutes. Please don’t mind and leave me alone. I will call you again.

M.M. left the room and returned when called.Yes, were you saved by Kali from being beaten and smashed under the whip of some strong arrogant big man ? “ She stopped . She stared at M.M.. And she said,”

And one thing more the last thing. If you then believe the whole thing or not is left to you Were you saved from the river drowning by Mother who embraced you from behind and prevented you from falling into the river ? ” ” I AM SENT TO YOU BY HER “.

This was wonder of wonders. M.M. stood amazed. His brain was whirling at the events. Said he in the most subdued tone, ” Yes I accept you as the living woman to be worshipped as Mother.”. “

Now tell me what you propose “. Said she,” I am going out now and now I will be staying with my people. My task is done. I have completed my mission entrusted me by my Goddess.  I have enlisted my people and have kept them alive  in that hard famine and I will be serving you.

So saying she immediately got up and began to whirl in a frenzied manner repeating,” Jay Amba Jay Kali Jay Bahuchari, ” and as  she moved red vermilion came out from the foot steps. M.M. stood stunned. His high imagination can not explain how vermilion would be oozing out of her feet. Said she while leaving the home and joining the people ,” Every Tuesday night l be with you for both of us to worship Mother. I to worship you you worship me and again I to worship you. Keep  all things ready for the most magnanimous and royal, grandeurful Mother’s worship. “.

On every Tuesday the girl came to M.M.. They together worshipped Mother most intensely. He concentrated on her as Mother after all preliminary worship for 2 to 3 hours each night. She trained M.M. for any temptation, to be proof against even an attack by the opposite sex of full supplication entreaty and any exposure of the beauty, any coquetry sweet smile  or lustful touch. And thus helped him most through out the life  in which temptations and hell carriers are Kanak and Kanta, wealth and woman.

Thus practically during his college career he was training himself not for the degree but for being  a straight forward self controlled religious, devotional and saintly man.